The Test

I feel that I am in the midst of a great learning opportunity from God and I am trying not to fail the test.

I have been unemployed since May. I felt led to work with family for the summer and to postpone my job search - I followed. Occasionally I doubted, but not often.

In September I started to look for a job. The process was slow at first, but with a bit of help, motivation and accountability from friends, opportunities started to present themselves. My severance ran out in October. No problem - still had unemployment. By December, though trying hard not to doubt, I was concerned about our finances. The day I accepted the SuperValu job offer, the unemployment finally paid out (including back weeks) - God again, Just-In-Time, HIS. (JIT God is a subject for another day.)

Tomorrow is the first day of my new job. I have not worked FT & 5 days/week since before Marissa was born. For the last 10 years I was at only 3 days a week. I am thankful for a job. I am thankful for a steady income and benefits. I am worried about the significant changes for my family and personal life. The commute scares me to death. I am disappointed that I was unable to find something more flexible and/or part-time. This is where the fear of failure comes in. I don't want my trust in God to wain now. He has been there for me and I just need to trust, but I am struggling.

Pray that I trust God, follow instead of trying to lead/control and rejoice that I am loved, cared for and He has only the best planned for me - whether I know it or not!